- [Shajira] We've spent a great deal of time on this complex concept of microaggressions. It is important to have a thorough understanding of what they are, and the significant negative impacts that they have on people, and also on organizations' workplace culture. Now let's take some time, and talk about how to address these microaggressions. First, I would like to let you know that there are three considerations, or positions that you can be in: You could be the receiver of a microaggression, which is someone has directed a microaggression towards you. You could be the sender of a microaggression, means that someone informed you that you sent a microaggression. Or you can observe a microaggression happening to someone else. We'll look at each of these positions, and how to respond, a little bit further. We will spend time talking about how to respond to microaggressions when you are the receiver. We just spent the first part of our session talking about how devastating these microaggressions can be, when one is on the receiving end. So we feel it is warranted to spend most of our time now sharing strategies to use when you find yourself in this position. Most people, when they are on the receiving end, ask themselves a series of questions, and they're in their head a lot. And they ask questions like, "Did this really happen? "Am I misinterpreting What happened?" and, "Was this motivated by bias?" Next, the thought process turns to, "What should I do, how should I respond?" The receiver can also then get into a situation where they are concerned about how much time has passed since the event happened. And as you can imagine, sometimes the person just does not want, or cannot deal with it at the time. Again, microaggressions are small statements, or actions, and these self-doubts are understandable. Responding to microaggression, as a receiver, we really need to spend some time here. Let's further investigate why someone would hesitate to respond. I think that these are the things that many people have said to themselves at some point: The first part is denial. A person would think things like, "I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it," or, "We're colleagues. "I know he or she doesn't think that way," or, "They couldn't have meant that." Then doubt can cause us not to take the action, like believing it won't do any good to speak up, or saying something won't change what anyone thinks, or believing it is not worth the effort. And then there is fear of consequences, like fearing that if you say something, you will get ostracized, or even fired, or fear that you will upset someone if you were to speak up. We took the time to share common assessments, and response hesitation, of those who receive microaggressions, because we wanna be sure that we get the full picture of how these microaggressions can affect a person, and what it takes to decide to speak up. It is no easy task. Now we wanna share strategies to use, to respond to those microaggressions. We're gonna start by going over tips that are being suggested for you to use, when you are on the receiving end of a microaggression. Again, someone has said or done something to you. There are three main ways to react: You can either let it go, respond immediately, or respond later. If you choose to respond, there are four strategies that you can work through: They are discern, disarm, defy, and decide. Don't worry, I know that there's a lot here. But we're gonna break it down a little bit further for you, and we're gonna walk through both the three ways to react, and the four strategies for when you choose to respond. In the previous slide, we went over the three main ways to react to microaggressions. But now let's go into it a little bit more in detail. The first one is let it go. Often the most common default response is choosing not to address microaggressions in the workplace. Because they are pervasive, yet subtle, they can be emotionally draining to confront. Yet silence places an emotional tax on targeted employees, who are left wondering what happened, and why, questioning their right to feel offended, and reinforcing belief that they are not safe from identity devaluation at work. Many targeted people choose not to address microaggressions. This often leaves them with the emotional scars, we discussed earlier, like loss of self-esteem, and exhaustion. These are not feelings that we want our colleagues to be experiencing in the work environment, so as we work through the session, we will talk about the strategies to use to address microaggressions. The second way that you can choose to react, is to respond immediately. This approach allows the microaggression to be called out, and its impact explained, while the details of the incident are fresh in the minds of everyone involved. Immediacy is an important component of correcting bad behavior. But this approach can be risky. The sender might get defensive, leaving the receiver feeling like they somehow lost control, did not show up as their best self, and may be labeled as overly sensitive, or a troublemaker. The last way to react is to respond later. This is a more tempered response, and addresses the sender privately at a later point, to explain why the microaggression was offensive. Here, the risk lies in the time lag. A follow-up conversation requires helping the person who sent the microaggression, to first recall it, and then to appreciate its impact. By bringing it up later, the receiver might be deemed petty, like someone who has been harboring resentment, or holding onto the little things, while the other party having meant no harm, has moved on. In the previous slides, we've reviewed the three ways that you could choose to react, as a receiver. You can either let it go, respond immediately, or respond later. Now we will discuss the process and strategies for what to do when you choose to respond. And your options are: discern, disarm, defy, or decide. So as we look at the courses of action, if you are the receiver of microaggressions, and want to respond, the first course of action we suggest is to discern, that is, determine how much of an investment you wanna make in addressing the microaggression. You should not feel pressure to respond to every incident. Rather, feel empowered to do so when you decide that you should. As you are working through discerning what to do, put these things into consideration: The importance of the issue, and the relationship with the person. If either is, or both, are important to you, avoidance may be the wrong approach. Express yourself in a way that honors your care for the other person, and assert yourself in a way that acknowledges your concern about the issue. Next, think about your feelings. Microaggression can make you doubt the legitimacy of your reactions. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, whether it's anger, disappointment, frustration, aggravation, confusion, embarrassment, exhaustion or something else. Your emotion is legitimate, and should factor into your decision about whether, how, and when to respond. With more active negative emotions, such as anger, it is often best to address the incident later. Give yourself some time to cool down, and really think through the entire matter. If you're confused, and immediate response might be preferable. You may be able to get some clarity from the sender, and you might even understand where they're coming from, and no longer feel like it was a microaggression. If you're simply exhausted from the weight of dealing with microaggressions, maybe it is best to let it go, meaning, it's best for you to let it go, not for the perpetrator. The next course of action is to disarm. When you choose to respond and address a microaggression, be prepared to disarm the sender of the offense. One of the reasons that people tend to avoid addressing microaggressions, is that it makes the sender defensive. I wanna make it clear that anyone can be a sender of microaggression, and it's bound to happen if it hasn't already. Senders of microaggression often fear being perceived as a negative person. For example, some of the perceptions that bring out very high defensiveness, are being compared to a racist, sexist, ableist, opportunist, and we all know that the list can go on. We suggest that you explain that the conversation might get uncomfortable, but what they just said or did was uncomfortable for you. Invite them to sit alongside you, in the awkwardness of their words or deeds, while you get to the root of their actions together. The third course of action is defy. Simply ask probing questions of the person, to clarify their statement or action. An example of a probing question is, "How do you mean that?" or even, "What are you referring to?" Keep a tone of truly questioning, trying to avoid sounding confrontational. This gives people a chance to check themselves, as they unpack what happened. And it gives you the opportunity to better gauge the sender's intent. Microaggressions are often unintended, because of lack of knowledge, or ignorance of history and meanings. Also acknowledge and accept that their explanation of their intentions to be what they say. But try your best to reframe the conversation to talk about the impact of the microaggression. Explain how you initially interpreted it, and why. If they continue to assert that they didn't mean it like that, remind them, meaning the sender, that you appreciate their willingness to clarify their intent, and hope that they appreciate your willingness to clarify the impact. The last course of action is to decide. You control what this incident will mean for your life and your work, what you will take from the interaction, and what you will allow it to take from you. The point here is that you are in control. Only you can decide when and how to respond, because you are the only one who is experiencing the impact of the microaggression. You decide if the event is significant enough for you to address. There are a number of factors to consider, as we discussed, and only you can determine what is the most applicable for you. And these steps will likely be the same steps that you experience each time you encounter a microaggression. Today, the decision for you may be not to respond, but tomorrow you may find yourself with a different decision. The point is, is that it is up to you. Remember that earlier today, we mentioned the emotional impact of microaggressions, when one chooses not to respond, include things such as feeling guilty about not speaking up, to get stuck in a loop of thinking about what we could have/should have said, and to feel angry at ourselves for our lack of action, and the psychological exhaustion of having to cope with these repeated encounters results in feelings of self-doubt, frustration, isolation, anxiety, anger and fatigue, and let's not forget the pent up nature of these feelings, can also take a physical toll on our bodies. We just spent time discussing how to respond when you are the receiver of a microaggression. Now let's switch gears a little bit. Let's examine strategies to use when you have a different role. Perhaps you're the sender, you unknowingly sent a microaggression, or you're the observer, and you witness a microaggression happen to someone else. Here we have the strategy to use, when you find yourself in a position of having sent a microaggression. You will likely be surprised if someone comes to you, since you probably had no ill intent. So your first reaction may be to get defensive. We suggest that you should also assume good intent on their behalf, and approach the situation believing that the person simply wants to let you know about what happened, versus you assuming that they are calling you a bad person. So first, listen to what they have to say, without interruption or judgment, and take a deep breath. Apologize with sincerity, as you certainly did not mean to offend the person. Refrain from making it about you, and going into the long explanation about you and your intent. As you continue to listen, seek to truly understand their viewpoint, and the impact of the microaggression. Do some self-reflection, and consider if you would like to circle back with the person. This is always a good idea if your self-reflection resulted in some new learning on your part. Always validate the person's feelings. Tell them you did not mean to offend them, and lastly, make sure that you apologize. When you observe a microaggression happening, you can make a powerful impact as an ally, by intervening on behalf of the person who has just received a microaggression. But responding effectively to microaggression takes practice, and people often don't speak up because they're afraid of causing more harm, or aren't sure what to say. So planning ahead is key. How can you intervene when you see a friend, colleague, or stranger experiencing a microaggression, because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, age, weight, or any other aspect of their intersectional social or personal identity? Here's advice from psychologists, on how to move from being a passive witness, to an active ally. First, you wanna plan ahead. Even in an emergency, witnesses don't always step into help. Responding to microaggression can be especially tricky, because it's not always clear to an observer whether harm occurred, or was intended. That is why it's crucial to think ahead about ways to intervene when a microaggression does occur. As you finish up this module today, think about how you would approach this if you found yourself as an observer. Be sure to tailor your approach. One strategy is to disarm the microaggression. Similarly, as we said in the receiver response, for instance, you could voice your disapproval of a racist joke, for example, by saying, "Not okay," or, "I don't agree with what you just said." Another approach is to call attention to subtle or invisible microaggressions, behind the comment. That could take the form of a statement, such as, "Not all Asian Americans are good with math." or a question such as, "Do you have evidence to back that up?" or, "Is this person's race, religion, "or identity really relevant to this conversation?" When microaggressions appear to be unintentional, educating the sender can stimulate an ongoing discussion about the belief behind the statement. For example, a bystander might respond to a hurtful comment, or joke, by saying, "I know what you meant, but the stereotype is hurtful." Also, be sure to speak for yourself. Your response should reflect your own perspective, and feelings about the microaggression. Don't speak for other people that you believe may have been offended by the microaggression. Address the behavior, and not the person. Always avoid calling someone a racist, or otherwise attacking their character. Instead of making a broad statement about a person's character, address the comment itself, by saying something like, "That statement was hurtful, "and I felt that it reflected some bias," or by asking clarifying questions such as, "What do you mean by that?" or, "Are you aware of how that might be interpreted?" You can always seek outside support. In some cases, observers may need to solicit outside help, for instance, when microaggressions occur repeatedly, and other strategies are not effective. In our case at NDI, you can always ask for me, or your supervisor, for advice and counsel. And let's repeat that you can make a powerful impact when you address microaggressions, when you witness it, as it shows your support for others. Now, let's talk about a strategy that is intended to help each of us to refrain from sending unintended microaggressions. One of the early researchers on microaggressions, Dr. Mary Rowe of MIT, suggests that the best way to not send microaggressions is to focus on sending micro affirmations. Micro affirmations are small acts, which are often subtle, and hard to see, whether public and private, that serve to uplift a person. Micro affirmations lie in the practice of generosity, in consistently giving credit to others, in providing comfort and support when others are in distress, and when there has been a failure, or an idea that did not work out. It is believed that promoting micro affirmations may help an organization in several ways: The first effect may be obvious. Appropriately affirming the work of another person, is likely both to help that person do well, and help them to enjoy doing well. The second effect is that constant, appropriate affirmations of others, can spread from one person to another, potentially raising morale and productivity. It helps everyone across all the intersections of identity. The third effect is subtle, and deals with the point that it may be hard for a person to catch themselves unconsciously sending microaggressions. For example, I may not always be able to catch myself behaving in a way that I do not wish to behave. But if I try always to affirm others in a authentic and consistent manner, I have a good chance of blocking that type of microaggression behavior of mine, and just prevent it all the way. Many microaggressions are not conscious, but affirming others can become conscious, as well as unconscious practices, that prevent unconscious slights. There are some examples on the slides saying things like, "Welcome," and "Come in and join us," or saying, "Nice job." Another way to affirm is to ask for someone's opinion, asking, "What do you think?" Also asking someone to tell you more about themselves. Micro affirmation actions include a warm smile, and nodding when someone is approaching, or talking to you. Having an open posture with arms uncrossed, or turning towards someone, for example, and small acts like holding the door open for someone, is a gesture that is affirming. Like I said, focusing on sending the micro affirmations can serve to steer our words and actions away from sending microaggressions.